How Can You Inspire A Person In Crisis

Three Ideas For Inspirational Leaders

Too many people these days are suffering from varying degrees of misfortune. Today I have clients, friends, and family members who are struggling with major crises in their lives, or in the case of those who own a business, in their enterprises. Even in our own home, my wife and I find that things are not as prosperous as they once were (or will be again). When you are not experiencing an easy life yourself, how do you inspire a person in crisis? What can you, the aspiring or accomplished inspirational leader, say to help?

Times are tough these days, and experts say things are going to get worse before they get better. But one of the most important things to bear in mind is that, eventually, things will get better. Nothing lasts forever; the easy times didn't, and neither will the tough times. And that's equally true whether you're dealing with the vagaries of an assaulted economy, or the pain of a personal problem such as a relationship in crisis.

If your journey along the road of inspirational leadership places you in a position to help a person in crisis, here are three ideas to consider as you reach out (or respond).

First, start with the right attitude, and that means adopting two simple (but sometimes hard to enact) philosophies: unconditional positive regard for the person you're coaching, and a front-of-mind awareness that it's about them, not you. Your unconditional positive regard means that you're on the other person's side - if they're in conflict with someone else (a boss, a spouse, whoever), you don't have to join in when the other person starts blaming and accusing, but you do have to make it clear that you're there to help them (and you might want to gently steer the conversation in a more productive direction). And don't turn the talk toward your own problems. Occasional self-disclosure about similar problems you've faced (and especially how you coped with them) are essential to demonstrating empathy... but get the focus back on the other person as soon as possible.

Second, ask questions. Try to monitor yourself - for every statement you give, make sure you're asking at least two questions (more would be better). This ensures that the focus stays on the person you're helping... but it accomplishes much more than that. If the questions are good (open-ended, provocative without being aggressive, brief, and bold), they'll force the other person to think through his or her own problem. And remember this: the more difficult the problem, the more impossible it is for anyone else to solve. You are not there to solve the problem, but to serve as a kind of "tour guide" to the best solution, which is always inside the person with the problem.

Finally, emphasize hope and encouragement in the messages you leave with the other person. Make it real, practical, and conditional upon the actions the person must take... but make it upbeat. Remind your client that they were not created to be miserable, but joyful... not to be defeated, but to be victorious... not to be hopeless, but to be a bright beacon of hope for others. "It's going to be hard," you might say, "and it could take months or years of focus and work... but at the end, you will have a happier life than you can now imagine." To make sure you can carry this inspiring message across, remind yourself - convince yourself - that it's the real and honest truth.

There are no magic solutions to the tough crises people face these days, and if you wrap yourself up in trying to be the solution for someone else, you'll both suffer a further setback. Don't do it. Just be helpful. Serious, but helpful. Even a little progress can be very inspiring for both of you.

By Michael D. Hume, M.S.

Three Ideas For Inspirational Leaders

Too many people these days are suffering from varying degrees of misfortune. Today I have clients, friends, and family members who are struggling with major crises in their lives, or in the case of those who own a business, in their enterprises. Even in our own home, my wife and I find that things are not as prosperous as they once were (or will be again). When you are not experiencing an easy life yourself, how do you inspire a person in crisis? What can you, the aspiring or accomplished inspirational leader, say to help?

Times are tough these days, and experts say things are going to get worse before they get better. But one of the most important things to bear in mind is that, eventually, things will get better. Nothing lasts forever; the easy times didn't, and neither will the tough times. And that's equally true whether you're dealing with the vagaries of an assaulted economy, or the pain of a personal problem such as a relationship in crisis.

If your journey along the road of inspirational leadership places you in a position to help a person in crisis, here are three ideas to consider as you reach out (or respond).

First, start with the right attitude, and that means adopting two simple (but sometimes hard to enact) philosophies: unconditional positive regard for the person you're coaching, and a front-of-mind awareness that it's about them, not you. Your unconditional positive regard means that you're on the other person's side - if they're in conflict with someone else (a boss, a spouse, whoever), you don't have to join in when the other person starts blaming and accusing, but you do have to make it clear that you're there to help them (and you might want to gently steer the conversation in a more productive direction). And don't turn the talk toward your own problems. Occasional self-disclosure about similar problems you've faced (and especially how you coped with them) are essential to demonstrating empathy... but get the focus back on the other person as soon as possible.

Second, ask questions. Try to monitor yourself - for every statement you give, make sure you're asking at least two questions (more would be better). This ensures that the focus stays on the person you're helping... but it accomplishes much more than that. If the questions are good (open-ended, provocative without being aggressive, brief, and bold), they'll force the other person to think through his or her own problem. And remember this: the more difficult the problem, the more impossible it is for anyone else to solve. You are not there to solve the problem, but to serve as a kind of "tour guide" to the best solution, which is always inside the person with the problem.

Finally, emphasize hope and encouragement in the messages you leave with the other person. Make it real, practical, and conditional upon the actions the person must take... but make it upbeat. Remind your client that they were not created to be miserable, but joyful... not to be defeated, but to be victorious... not to be hopeless, but to be a bright beacon of hope for others. "It's going to be hard," you might say, "and it could take months or years of focus and work... but at the end, you will have a happier life than you can now imagine." To make sure you can carry this inspiring message across, remind yourself - convince yourself - that it's the real and honest truth.

There are no magic solutions to the tough crises people face these days, and if you wrap yourself up in trying to be the solution for someone else, you'll both suffer a further setback. Don't do it. Just be helpful. Serious, but helpful. Even a little progress can be very inspiring for both of you.

By Michael D. Hume, M.S.

Have You Thought About How to Pray

When I actually think about prayer and praying, there are two things that come to mind. One is from a preacher I heard as a teenager. We were at a Christian Music Camp, and there were services each morning before we started our practices and seminars.

I don't remember the name of the preacher...it was thirty-two or so years ago...but I think it was C. K. Price. How he explained our normal approach to prayer has stuck with me ever since. This is a paraphrase of what he said. None of this bit is original to me.

"We are a lot like three year old children when we pray. A three year old will bring his broken toy to daddy so it can be fixed. But daddy may have to put it on his workbench for a while before he can fix it. There are a lot of reasons for that. Maybe he needs to buy a part, or there's another job that needs done first...and sometimes it can't be fixed.

"If the toy isn't fixed in what the child thinks is "enough time," he may very well take it off the bench and try to fix it himself. This usually has disastrous results.

"When we pray, it's a lot like putting it on Daddy's bench. Like the child, we want our prayer answered *right now.* We also want that answer to be positive; we want our desires carried out. If it doesn't happen soon enough, we may try to fix it ourselves."

God isn't like a Coke machine. You can't put your prayer in, wait a few minutes and get your answer delivered right away. Sometimes that will happen, but not usually. God is our Daddy. That's what Abba means. He knows whether or not the prayer can be answered right now, or if we need to wait a while. He also knows when it's not something we should have. That's the role of a daddy.

The second thing I think about is when Jesus taught us how to pray. When was the last time any of us thought of those words we memorized so long ago? Do we know what they really mean?

Our Father, who art in heaven: God isn't a guy standing on a cloud with a thunderbolt waiting for us to mess up. He's our Father; our Daddy.

Hallowed be Thy Name: God is holy. Unless He makes something holy, it isn't. In fact, most of us say God and Lord because His name is sacred. It's important to recognize that.

Thy Kingdom Come: God's kingdom is one of peace. It's one where heartache and pain no longer exist. Yes, let His kingdom come.

Thy will be done: Now we're getting to some of the tricky parts. However, when we pray, we should always ask that no matter what we ask, what He wills is done. I know from experience that there are times when His answer really should be wait or no. It's important to understand that, pray it and mean it.

On Earth as it is in Heaven: If God's will is done on earth as it is in heaven, His kingdom will have come.

Give us this day our daily bread: It's easy to look over this part when you've got a well stocked larder and a full fridge. If you've ever had times hard enough that your kitchen makes Mother Hubbard's look lavish, the meaning of this phrase has more importance.

And forgive us our trespasses: God knows we're going to make mistakes, disobey His laws and otherwise mess up. Acknowledging that is important...mostly for us. The next section is why.

As we forgive those who trespass against us: First, God knows we aren't always going to be forgiving, and this isn't a club over our heads saying "forgive them or else." It's about acknowledgement that we have all sinned and it makes forgiving someone easier.

Lead us not into temptation: The world is full of tempting things that we shouldn't take part in. With God's help, it's a lot easier not to be seduced by the temptation.

And deliver us from evil: Evil is all around us. We are surrounded by things that want to separate us from God. The only protection from those evils *is* God.

For Thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory: His is the kingdom we seek, His is the power to make it real and the glory of His being and actions are what will help us be in it someday.

For ever and ever: To me, this means both inside time, where we are and outside time, where God is.

Amen: So be it.

Prayer is about communing with God, asking for help and listening with our hearts for His answers. We can depend on His love, His help and His blessing. Being in His will is the answer to our prayers.

Four Steps to Take for Forgiveness

Life on this earth is not perfect. With the number of personalities on this planet equaling the number of people who are currently breathing, it is inevitable that every person will have to face disappointment for more than a few times during his or her lifetime.

I experienced this disappointment recently, and it left me a lot more frustrated then I wanted to admit. However, after walking around for two days with a black cloud hovering over my head, I knew that something had to be done about it. So with faith and a cup of coffee, I sat down to think and pray. It was the following steps that helped guide me through to getting past the dark emotions I had.

1) Face the Frustration - a lot of people would rather die than admit that they were hurt. What they do not understand is, if the pain is not admitted, then technically there is nothing to fix! If forgiveness has to take place, one has to first acknowledge that there is something to forgive.

2) Identify the Source - the pain should have started from somewhere. We can't just go around saying that this person hurt us and just leave it at that. Just like a report of any other incident, we need to know when it happened, how it happened, and maybe even the why. If the source of the problem is not identified, then it cannot be fixed. Think of trying to fix a leak without knowing which portion of the pipe is leaking.

3) Create a Way Forward - this is crucial, because some events may not even have a way forward... or at least not for the person who was hurt. This is when the offended party needs to acknowledge what needs to be done for things to get better. Some people just love to hate, that they wouldn't be able to point out action steps that can be taken in order to mend fences. There are times when we need to acknowledge that what was done was in the past, and we just have to face it.

4) Pray - Some people disregard this step, but only prayer can bring that lighthearted feeling that we all want to have. This is not just the prayer that people rattle of and get it done with. It's the type that makes a person close his or her eyes and talk to The Creator with the belief that He is there, and that He is listening.

"Forgive and forget" is what most people say when they are told of heartaches and emotional hurt. This is not an easy thing to do, because we remember the pain from the scars on our shoulders. How much more the emotional pain that we had to go through?

It will not be easy to forget, but we can forgive and make it a point not to bring it up again. In time, when these pains are no longer brought up and discussed, then they will simply fade away. For this to happen though, we all have to admit that there was pain, make it a point to make things better, and just forgive... with the help of our Creator.

Life on this earth is not perfect. With the number of personalities on this planet equaling the number of people who are currently breathing, it is inevitable that every person will have to face disappointment for more than a few times during his or her lifetime.

I experienced this disappointment recently, and it left me a lot more frustrated then I wanted to admit. However, after walking around for two days with a black cloud hovering over my head, I knew that something had to be done about it. So with faith and a cup of coffee, I sat down to think and pray. It was the following steps that helped guide me through to getting past the dark emotions I had.

1) Face the Frustration - a lot of people would rather die than admit that they were hurt. What they do not understand is, if the pain is not admitted, then technically there is nothing to fix! If forgiveness has to take place, one has to first acknowledge that there is something to forgive.

2) Identify the Source - the pain should have started from somewhere. We can't just go around saying that this person hurt us and just leave it at that. Just like a report of any other incident, we need to know when it happened, how it happened, and maybe even the why. If the source of the problem is not identified, then it cannot be fixed. Think of trying to fix a leak without knowing which portion of the pipe is leaking.

3) Create a Way Forward - this is crucial, because some events may not even have a way forward... or at least not for the person who was hurt. This is when the offended party needs to acknowledge what needs to be done for things to get better. Some people just love to hate, that they wouldn't be able to point out action steps that can be taken in order to mend fences. There are times when we need to acknowledge that what was done was in the past, and we just have to face it.

4) Pray - Some people disregard this step, but only prayer can bring that lighthearted feeling that we all want to have. This is not just the prayer that people rattle of and get it done with. It's the type that makes a person close his or her eyes and talk to The Creator with the belief that He is there, and that He is listening.

"Forgive and forget" is what most people say when they are told of heartaches and emotional hurt. This is not an easy thing to do, because we remember the pain from the scars on our shoulders. How much more the emotional pain that we had to go through?

It will not be easy to forget, but we can forgive and make it a point not to bring it up again. In time, when these pains are no longer brought up and discussed, then they will simply fade away. For this to happen though, we all have to admit that there was pain, make it a point to make things better, and just forgive... with the help of our Creator.

Do You Feel Free to Dive Into Your Life

Unconscious memories, beliefs and emotions can really get in the way and block us from doing what we want to. We start to avoid and procrastinate jumping in and participating.

That tendency started for myself at a very young age, around 7 or 8 years old. I would volunteer to be the one who held the skipping rope without participating and swing the rope around watching the other kids jump in and have fun.

I had another similar experience with diving. Again, as a young girl around the same age I had a traumatic experience with a very mean swimming instructor. I was a pretty good swimmer for my age but when I would go to the edge of the pool to take a rest she would kick my hands off the edge with her feet and watch me struggle to continue swimming laps.

It caused me to hate swimming lessons and I finally quit just before the point of learning how to dive. I never did learn to dive and yearned for that feeling and experience all my life.

Not until a couple of years ago did I get up the courage to take a private swimming lesson to learn how to dive.

Within a ?? hour swim lesson, a wonderful, supportive and kind swim instructor had me walking up to the edge of the pool and diving right in. The experience to feel myself diving into the water was extraordinary.

In fact it didn't matter to me if I ever did it again because:

a) I had the experience, and;

b) I now know I can do it if I want to

The same goes for whatever you desire in your life. You want experiences that are appealing to you whether it's a once in a lifetime activity or something you love to do on a regular basis. You don't want to hold yourself back from having an experience you desire.

Doing something outside of your comfort zone can feel extremely threatening. This is when you need to make friends with courage and trust.

Try developing your courage muscles by exploring activities that inspire you. You are more likely to take a leap of faith when you do something that lights you up.

Perfectionist tendencies are a form of protection. Being uncomfortable doing something new, trying to get things right, avoiding activities with others until you get better at it. It becomes an internal struggle with wanting to do something and the vulnerable potential of feeling like a failure.

This is an illusion created by the ego and will have you avoid acting on your desires to protect yourself from criticism. The antidote to feeling this anxiety is to plan less and participate more.

Letting your fears fall away allows you to get back in touch with having fun. Free yourself from "being an ever-ender," take the plunge and enjoy your life.

When your courage weakens and your self confidence is not as strong, allow the courage of your Higher Self to emerge and trust that you will be kept safe.

Self-Enquiry Reflection

How strong are your courage muscles when it comes to fulfilling your dreams?

Have you considered how flexing your courage muscles could liberate you?

What are you afraid of with taking a risk?

What do you long to do that scares you?

Have you played it safe at the expense of your own happiness?

Have you created a pattern of avoiding what you really want to do?

Do you plan more than actually participate?

Energy Healing clears resistance such as memories, emotions, beliefs, and patterns that keep you separate from your true self.

Energy Clearing is a catalyst for transformation and greatly benefits anyone who has a desire for positive change and seeks to live life on purpose.

Consistency The Fuel of Integrity

Given that there is so much corruption in the world right now; whilst the word integrity may never get as common-place as you would want it to be, it is also one that would never go out of mention. It challenges the norm with all of the audacity and questioning ability that can be mustered. Integrity is not a destination and just like goodwill, it is a concept that is built over the years; one that could definitely use some helpful factors and tips for those willing to tow its highly estimable path. The way to follow in the quest to develop integrity is one of consistency. Whenever consistency is used as a word, it is never too far away from a similar word called routine. Routine as a concept is a double-edged sword which is highly dependent on how the person involved gets to deploy it; that is to an advantage or the other way round. When one has developed a habit of saying no to corruption, it could grow into a healthy routine which the subject can call on any day without thinking twice. Conversely, what is a routine must also be checked and balanced by doing a re-assessment from time to time, just to be sure one is still on the right path, and not necessarily living in denial.

This is very necessary because routines just like habits are quite hard to break; but it is also worthy of note that extremes can set you on a dangerous path. Some routines are quite helpful, where the necessary checks are applied and in the right measures. This model of routine would preferably serve as our main point of emphasis under this particular topic. When the right values such as discipline, probity and doing things the right way, are built into a routine and one that is constantly followed; the subject becomes quite battle-hardened, and in no time develops a weapon that would make the cause much easier to execute. If one over the years has developed a habit of turning down small incentives or declaring them publicly when offered, it would not be hard to turn down the seemingly large ones because there is a plan already in place and one is not caught unawares. It also must be said that where there are no secrets kept, scandals stay far away from such venues. This in effect would mean that once the job is done in the right way, there is no need to hide anything, and with nothing to hide, there is nothing secretive waiting to be revealed.

Most scandals that have evolved over time have always had the undertone of secrets kept, and the same have been products of the latter's exploitation. Consistency is also upheld by discipline which highlights the cause as one that may not be the easiest whilst not being impossible. Constantly, it gets proven that kids taught the right values often turn out right as it becomes a part of them to follow the right path. This is why the adage "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he would not depart from it" is entirely appropriate to further push this cause. Whilst it does not guarantee a hundred percent certainty, it gives one a large percentage of assurance that even when the chips are down, the kid would tend to take the right decisions more often than not. For the adult, it is never too late or totally beyond salvage; that is if the necessary steps are taken to do a re-evaluation of one's position with an attendant decision of turning a new leaf. Consistency just like exercise builds your muscle freeing them up for the day they would be called in to use. Just like an athlete who has his body already well primed for competition stands a better chance of doing well as against a sloppy person who does not constantly exercise the body.

Integrity is a value that can preserve you in your lifetime and even further go on to preserve your legacy after you are long gone. It therefore goes without saying that the path of integrity would bring you the win you highly crave, if it is followed strictly. Like every laudable cause, it is challenging and not one that has many friends around willing to offer a hand; it would therefore entail making a personal decision to stand and fight for what you believe in which is the path of integrity for the purpose of this discuss. Some one once said that, "we often find comfort in the company of many going through the same things as we do, but often times we must stand even as the only one and fight if we are to achieve greatness, more-so for what we think should be and that which we believe in." In this case, it can only be further emphasized that one must have plans well laid out to avoid corruption and to follow the disciplined path of probity and good judgement, which can stand the test of fire any day it is examined under the spot light. Developing this into a consistent routine, grants the subject a rare ability to switch in to 'auto-gear' knowing that even decisions taken on impulse stand a good chance of being right, as the right culture has been engrained and the helpful lessons of discipline have been well imbibed.