Misplaced loyalty

Misplaced loyalty Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 23, 2003I are male, 30, married for seven years. I have two small children. In recent years have tried married life. My wife and I fight a lot, always about money, work, or sex.We used for a fan, in a sort of shy, but that has all but disappeared. My wife attributes to my professional ethics. If I were home more, he says, it would be more romantic. I'm not sure I agree. It seems most are around more bored I am with you. I love her still, but it is a huge void.Now the problem. I took a recent college grad in the workplace, a beautiful intelligent 23-year-old. It aroused in me that something is missing. E 'was an obvious physical attraction on my part, from the first day. I work long hours, and worked with me.We spent many evenings together and just hang out. You know, I married and unhappy. I found myself constantly thinking about the girl on weekends and during the night, at the intimate with my wife. Unfortunately, it was recently offered his resignation. During the lunch, said he is leaving for legitimate reasons.She career has been very emotional about their career change. I was devastated. We went with employees the next night to drink and enjoy themselves, and goodbye. We spent most of the night in each other arms, dancing close and whispering in each others ear. When we started, we started with a hug, a kiss on the lips, and ended in a deep passion kiss.This girl left on a trip abroad for a period of three weeks, but if they retu, we need to talk of affairs. I have heard of separation or divorce, for more than a year, but my biggest fear is my baby. I do not want without a father, and I do not want more unhappy. I'm so to I do not know what do.OscarOscar, one of the most common letters begin with a litany of problems in marriage and ends with a new person in the life of the writer. In these letters, there are two questions, independent of each other, but the letter writer always sees as one question.The first question is: Should I leave my wife because I did not love and do not want the continuation of marriage ? The second question is: My relationship with my new love of work? If your marriage is bad enough, it should be bad enough, without another person in your life. A year ago, speaks with the woman might have led to the separation of the two retu to your world, while taking into account the fact that his wife feels divorce.Now there is between you two. There was another woman. His wife is the feeling that you have your next fish on the line, and she has not even a line of water. His wife is hurt, angry, and contentious.You, on the other hand, the new love is a woman who is married to a man. How much cleaner and more honest would be the separation from his wife a year ago. For you, your wife, and this new woman, everything would have been less complicated.We your conce for your children and other women, but not for your wife. No company, the new report before the conversation with your wife. Talk to your wife, not the other woman, is the most important thing now.The first question to resolve is whether you and your wife love each other and want to stay married.Wayne and TamaraAbout The Author Authors and columnist Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or e-mail: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.